... widespread

far apart and too far away to touch. to connect. to somehow feel rested and assured that these feelings will still hold true for him tomorrow. scared that when it becomes less than convenient that the effort will be too great and we will drift further and further until no length of arms will spread that wide.

... click

my life was just a series of them. the keyboard, the mouse, the end of the phone calls. he breathed into me a series of fantasies i surrounded myself in completely.

i now find myself distanced and thankful that this one little sound doesn't control me anymore.

... model

the lines of her body were smooth, curved and disproportionate. examining her only made me sad to think that this thing, never being able to exist in nature, was what we wanted to convince ourselves was beautiful.

pane

pane of widowed window smashed broken glass crashed by flying rocks flung long ago in the throws of frustration.

... pane

of glass is what should come to mind but even though the spelling is different, this word only has one meaning for me. i wish to elevate myself to a higher plane of existence, thinking, being, loving, living breathing whatever but it won't happen.

there is too much pain in the way.

... purple

hints of purple collect under my eyes in the suitcases that have formed because my heart won't sleep every night we spend hours far away in a world where nothing exists except the love we know is real but can't seem to make tangible and there is always an excuse to stay all warm and fuzzy and completely trapped inside this world of fantasy but i swear i'm breaking out.

... locked

up tight. scared to write.

all of those things down that i have thought and felt that are now lost in the vaults of the past and in the eyes of the people who never really cared in the first place i look rather silly, dramatic and emotional.

i wanted to write them so i'd remember, but now i'm glad i didn't because i needed to forget.

... usual

big, black and boring. dull print that repeats the same speech patterns that drip from my lips with tired and redundant quotes from people a lot funnier and creative than myself. we regulars come in and always have our usuals and that bartender pours the drink without even asking anymore and i just don't like the predictability my life has become.

justice

Justice. Bring the crime. Bring the accused. Bring the injured. Bring the evidence. Bring your bias, and disregard the facts.

petal

petals of sorrow drip-drip orgastic. shudders and mutters that resemble sexual satisfaction, but convey a very different message.

... cult

take your free thinking and push it aside. you don't need it. you can use your energies for more productive and useful things. it would save so much . it would make things so much. easier.

dominate

dominate the space that communicates. eat words and gain weight. eat the space between the words and gain understanding.

leap

leap the fall and hop the autumn spring through winter and hit the bottom of summer and season and time changes with reason

... possessed

the potential to be something great. notice i didn't say anything about fate or destiny or a calling or anything leading anyone to believe that there wasn't a choice in this becoming great. it is a choice you make every second of every day.

... yarn

knit me up something pretty, grandma. i'll love it to death but never wear it and only after you are gone will i treasure it like i should have every second i had it and you in my life and i miss what we could cave been to each other and i wonder why you had to go when you did.

... driftwood

it doesn't matter. you presence is welcome when you are on and exhilarating to be around. we love good jokes and good times but we have deeper love to go home to. we can appreciate this surface level interaction for what it is.

you can't... because you don't have anything else.

leave me longing for new england winters.

snow

jade of all trades:
things went white and cold rather quickly and i struggled to find myself in the whirlwind of static, circling my heart after you stole all of its warmth...

scarlet ideals:
it was chilling against my skin and you pulled off my clothes and i shook with pain and fear and more excitement than i think you may have noticed and i can't seem to shake the thoughts of all that shaking we did in each other's arms that winter.

lizzi:
fall down stairs and cheeks and mountains built out of paper scraps and rubber cement and we can make it all fit together, rolling all our lies up into a big snow ball that only stings when it hits you in the face.

... medium

tennis court skylines
and medium sized
g-string panty lines
both illuminate aching, lonely times
when we all wished
it was more than hit or miss

... some of us ARE in it for the long haul.

shenry string

cake, novice, ceremony, blank, sin, foreign, tomb, civil, rainy, byte, bite, tradition, hurl

Original sin. There is no blank slate. We are born evil. We inherit the filth of our ancestors via dna and tradition. Purity and holiness are foreign to us. We are allergic to it. Thus we perform sacred and useless ceremonies of purification so that byte by byte we reformat at spiritual hard drives. Pointless. In the end we are hurled into our rainy tombs caked in evil and unfit for afterlife.

extra

trim the excess. shed the mental fat. trim the mind of memories and achieve a more efficient state of thinking