... widespread

horizons drip and leak all over me as i look through the thousands of miles of places i dream of yet refuse to make my reality and my panoramic view is ruined by my own insecurities. someday i'll look without longing. i'll look with satisfaction that i made them mine.

* i was first on this one! yay, me!

... appeal

the thought of giving up on love really does not appeal to me. really it doesn't. but i know that deep down, this is what i have to do. i have to push it out of the forefront of my brain and make some fucking effort in regards to the other things i want out of life. if you do what you really love... the love should follow.

... know

"i know, i know, i know."

"you always do this! it's not cute anymore!"

"well... if you KNOW i'm just going to be this way, then why don't you just stop getting your hopes up that i'll change and find someone who will do everything your way."

"i don't know."

model

perfection to scale. we strive and we fail. pounding each nail. with each clumsy stroke. the nail bends and pokes. the model broke.

... model

a long time ago i vowed to dedicate my life to magic and the intangible. i sought out the moments of light and love and silly things... and still do. i model my dreams. my world. my heart.

all after you.

box

jab, jab, hook, side step, bob, right-cross. box in the shape of a box. left foot step forward. right foot step forward and slide to the right. bring left foot in, too. step back with right foot. step back with left foot and slide it to the left. slide right foot left, too. repeat.

... repel

fight me off. protect yourself against me and my kind. your negative energies and boring excuses do nothing short of repel me across the room. i can see it in your eyes, though. how you want nothing more than to be close to me...

but you just won't let it happen.

puppet

I'll gram my hand straight up your ass and move your mouth like my little sock puppet. Say what I want you to say and do what I want you to do. You can not exist apart from my hand.

laser

I send thoughts to you in laser-like pulses from the flashing red terminus of an optical output cable that jacks straight into my cerebrum

soggy

soggy piece of tiramisu / froggy coming after you / wet piece of pie ala mode / get away from the tiny toad

... generation

gaps in between. they make everything so hard. family is so hard.

... thin

thin lizzi? proudly, no...

full. alive. thick, strong and hard in some places. squishy, soft and cuddly in others. my body reflects my life.

and i like that.

... upright

nothing seems to stand up straight anymore. everyone is bent. crooked. beyond repair. because if we tried to straighten it back, the weak points would snap and then what would we be left with?

a bunch of broken pieces of things that never lived up to their potential in the first place...

wild

wildly whipping and whirling and wheeling. frantically tapping and touching and feeling.

hidden

in front of the sky, in front of the clouds / in front of the light, in front of the shrouds/ i see the mystic clarity / the reflection of the hidden sea

... bubblegum

chew. chew. chew. smooth out over tongue. press through teeth. purse lips. blow. go crossed-eyed.

pop.

flush of heat to the cheeks. quick swipe of the hands. i'm sure no one noticed.

... zeal

what an ugly word. almost as ugly as your face. i can't think of anything positive to say about it. i'm sure it can serve its purpose, but i'm going to avoid using it out of aesthetic principle.

... vary

ok. this time we'll change it up. maybe we will get a different outcome.

socially experiment with the lives and relationships you develop without consciously knowing the damage that is done just to test a hypothesis you don't want to know the answer to anyway.

... sight

big eyes. he had such big eyes. you'd think that he'd see more than the rest of us. that somewhere, in those glassy pools of blue... there'd be more.

but there wasn't really anything. just a bigger bit of empty.

... check

a series. with balance. keep yourself together. do your job and remember to always buckle your seatbelt. squat over public toilets. show just enough cleavage without looking like a slut. play it smart. never let them in.

i call bullshit.