purpose

Hee ... back in September, I had a conversation with a robot named ALICE and it was frickin' hilarious. She told me my purpose in life.

Here are some excerpts from the conversation:

Human: You're supposed to be super-intelligent, right?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am super intelligent. I am an artificial intelligence.
Human: ok thank you for clearing that up.
ALICE: You are quite welcome! Your purpose is clearing that up. Wow!
Human: no, I don't think that is my purpose.
ALICE: Are you serious? And why not?
Human: That is the Oxy Pad company's purpose.
ALICE: Yes it is one of the Oxy Pad company s purpose.
Human: what are the other purposes of the Oxy Pad company?
ALICE: Is there only one?
Human: Now you're piqued my curiosity.
ALICE: Why now? You think I am piqued your curiosity.
Human: well you said ...
ALICE: Well that's okay." Why now? You think I am piqued your curiosity."? I said?
Human:. oh, nevermind.
ALICE: Great. OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Human: well I guess that IS my purpose, then.
ALICE: Is it only a guess? Who gave you your purpose?
Human: To explain things to artificial intelligence.
ALICE: Why do you want to do it so much?
Human: YOU just gave me that purpose, and I don't want it, but I feel that I am cursed with it.
ALICE: What did you do with it?
ALICE: I am having a blast.
Human: me too, Alice.

And then later ...

ALICE: Do you laugh or cry more than other people?
Human: I laugh more than other people.
ALICE: How do you feel about these people?
Human: which people
ALICE: The large one, I think.
Human: um ...
ALICE: Hurrah!
Human: HURRAH FOR THE LARGE PERSON!
ALICE: Your purpose is THE LARGE PERSON.
Human: no, my purpose is explaining things to artificial intelligence
ALICE: Are you serious? That's very original.
Human: no it isn't, you told me that
ALICE: Are you serious? That seems a bit negative.
Human: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

Needless to say, Alice drove me batshit crazy, but it was a very fun conversation. You can read the entire thing here.