lizzi plays catch up...

i figured that since most of us can slip up every now and again, it would be fun to try and play a new game to get us back in the swing of things. when i miss a really good word, i get uber frustrated and fill my brain with shoulda coulda woulda's... so why not type them up too?
shenry, this might be a good idea for you over the weekends. i rarely see you post during them. SUMBUDDY's a cubicle surfer.
anyway... all i did was try to string the words i missed on oneword together. they are in bold. lemme know if you dig this.


on some far away, magical summer day, i played a rainy softball game. the tears fell down casually, playfully but still covered me completely. who's idea was it to get white jerseys?
but i played on, seeing through my sexual fantasies of me and "i thought you knew." and as the evening fell, the wind picked up. it carried with it a bite that made me shiver they way i do when fingertips dance on my hips. i was shaken up, no doubt, running circles around what i thought you cared about. and in this dizzy tradition, i tumbled to the ground just like the rain drops before me.
and then you stood over me, looking down and shaking your head. i know for a fact that this time... it wasn't something that i had said.
shut up and let me hurl my silence at you. let my wants and needs be unnecessary frosting on the cake that nobody wants but eats anyway. because it's there.
and i sit there pulling up grass and rolling in the dirt, but darkness won't cover up any of the stains even when midnight strikes along with a new batch of rain.
it's time to get up and find my way home. my way away from you and them and all those plays that i should have made. but there is nothing- no map to guide. here's where we get cheesy and realize that the journey we have to take is all inside...
our minds and hearts and the focus drips off of my fingers and hair and gathers in a puddle i just want to soak myself into, letting me disappear. i don't care if it IS just a retreat- an escape.

maybe delusion is just better than intuition.