Catching Up

oneword: forever

that word is always said entirely too early in relationships. its a little like a joke. i used to be this ridiculous hopeless romantic. i believed in what the movies had to say and truly felt it in my heart. but now, i'm not so sure about that. i'm here in the middle of love, and its nothing like that. they skip all of the day to day and the bickering, and being mad at someone for leaving their crap on the dresser. i guess in the last few years, i have become the hopeful romantic, hoping that it didn't die.

oneword: masterpiece

that is quite a situation you have worked yourself into. building it for months and not even knowing it was being built into this monsterous thing that might ruin you for the world. not standing up for who you are, what you believe, and those that love you in your life. that angry, bitter, disgusting, self loathing bubble trapping it all inside with you. thank god for starting to pop it.

oneword: grace

in certain situations, i actually possess that wonderful trait, but I would never in a millions years say that I was graceful. i can ease almost any argument depending on the outcome that needs to happen, and I can usually avoid drama. i would consider that graceful,but i would never consider myself graceful like a dancer. i am in awe of the grace that they possess and the beauty in their movements. i could never move like that.

oneword: forge

push on, move forward, no matter how hard, it is necessary for survival in the world. keep putting one foot in front of the other. keep growing and reaching outside your comfort zone. only there can you find who you really are and what you are really made of.

oneword: pardon

i beg your pardon for the being scared, and not living up to my true potential. i beg your pardon for the lies and secrets. i beg your pardon for not being able to stick up for myself or for you in the past. i beg your pardon for falling flat on my face all the times in the past that i have tried. i beg your pardon for the hurt i have caused. i beg your pardon for the self hating hell i put myself into. i beg your pardon for disappearing from the face of the planet. i beg you pardon for not being there when i should have been.