oneword: held

my house is a scary place to be at night, all alone. nothing but the sound of tapping keys and the fan on my laptop. i guess i can hear my heart too, especially when i think about what a shock i've had this month. i don't want to keep running in the same patterns, seeing the same people, doing the same things. i want growth and change and on nights like these, it all seems so...so possible. i don't want to be held back by my own need for comfort.

i need new excitement. the quick heart beat, the nerves, even the trembling. anything to jump start this stagnated existence. anything to remind me that i can still walk in all directions.