i can forgive you for hitting us. for throwing things. for hurling my prized babydoll carriage over your head, smashing it against the ground because i forgot to clean my room. i can even forgive you for all the yelling. for all the times you scared me so bad, it was all i could do to stop myself from shaking, sitting alone in my room upstairs. for calling me a bitch when i was 13, because i asked you to turn down the volume on the TV at 6 AM.
i can forgive you for your actions, but not for the memories. not for the scars. and not for the fact that to this day, i can't look you in the eye without remembering all of this.
i know that you want to have a better relationship with me. but i am afraid of you.
i fear anger and conflict. and i can't help but blame you for that.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
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4 comments:
wow.
ditto to what liz said.
can i double-ditto?
sorry. i didn't mean to freak anyone out.
i guess this is the point where i can finally say i'm comfortable enough to get this shit out there.
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