dancing

a white flake of snow in an updraft from a ventilation shaft. dancing, dancing, dancing. no self-consciousness constricts the movements to unheard music.

pierce

pierce all the skin you can in hopes of surrounding your heart with metal. guarding. hiding. protecting from any pain that you can't moniter yourself. we all like control. like to know whats coming. like to feel safe and comfortable and ruler of all in our stupid ass world of lets pretend no one else matters.

Pierce

I shall capitalise that with a capital P.

My first thought upon seeing the word "pierce" was "heh ... I've been with a guy like that..." In fact, I blogged about it on my main blog, and I'd link it here, but it looks like my server is down at the moment.

Ah well.

My second and third thoughts happened simultaneously.

I thought of Franklin Pierce, the fourth president of the United States. He was a Democrat and a New Englander. I have many Democratic New Englander friends. Needless to say, I kind of like President Franklin Pierce.

I also, at the same time, thought of Alan Alda, a.k.a. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce from the TV show M*A*S*H. He was my favourite character. I grew up on watching M*A*S*H ... among many other television shows that are now considered "classics."

As for myself, yes, I've had a few piercings in my day.

That is all I will say. ;)

pierce

pierce the hollow night stillness with echoing shouts of dissatisfaction. to hell with what the neighbors think. to hell with what your children think. shout out your fears and tears and unbearable burdens.

pierce.

Wierd, how they always see right through me. Pierce through all of my bullshit. Remind me that life's about being trouble, not fooling people into thinking I'm trouble. Pierce through the layers to get something that's almost honest.

Then pierce my heart, you asshole. After I've worked so damn hard to keep it safe from you.

Beautiful fucking eyes.

casting

when I cast the movie to my life who will I get to play myself?... this could be a fun exercise. to list all the people in my life --family, fiends, coworkers, etc.-- and pick appropriate actors and actresses to play them.

oppose

the other team had way better uniforms. you could tell they came from money. it didn't matter that we had practiced like mad men all season or that we were on top of our game... seeing them towering over us all sparkly and clean sent every speck of self confidence right down the tube.

grade

grade me like a cheese grater. shred me and my identity into stringy pieces and scrutinize each delicious chunk. after you've vivisected and devoured my essence you can rank me like you're my (slightly sexy) fourth grade teacher, A-B-C-D-F.

statement

burn your statements to the ground with counter-arguments of flamethrower proportions. burn, baby, burn. intangible words set ablaze by the fuel of my ire. this is a statement in its own right.

statement

your statments come off more like questions because there never seems to be any certainty or confidence in your words. why don't you ever want to embrace yourself like you do the angels you are constantly chasing around? what is so bad about feeling strongly about something other than a pair of legs you'd like to lie between?

mold.

"Erica! How does an empty pizza box make it onto our LAUNDRY ROOM? FLOOR? OPEN?"
"Sorry! I uh, forgot about it!"
"Forgot? How long ago?"
"Well . . . it probably wasn't here the last time you did laundry."
"That was at least a week ago."
"Yeah, it was like, the next day."
"It's been sitting here for more than a week!?!?!"
"Well, think of it this way: now we don't have to go to the grocery store to get moldy cheese."
"AAAAARRRGGGHHHHHH!"

shift

i have felt a shift in the balance that my world has been teetering on. i am not afraid to acknowledge it, but i am reluctant to assimilate accordingly. this rut i am in is comfortable. this block of unwritten dreams and hopes and lives i only seem to live in the starry twilight in the back of my mind. safer inside this cavern i have molded for myself. less likely to fail or succeed or really do anything of consequence at all. weigh on me heavily...

give me a reason to jump. to fall. to fly.

mold

mold me into something you think would be a little more appropriate. teach me how to bleed, breathe and die all within the constraints of your rules. make me what you wish you were.

claw

with my sickle-shaped claws I ripped the satin clad mistress from satan's jaws and I dragged her to the cave of my stripped internal delusion to gaze upon the fusion burnt scars on her face.

recall

sometimes my memories are fuzzy disappearing notions of near forgotten ideas. i cannot recall the depth of detail or specific perspective the memory. that's okay, though. it probably wasn't worth remembering anyway.

locate

beep-beep-beep-blip. locate the vortex of your immortality with a radar/sonar built by god. is it in your brain, behind your eyes? is it in your gut, with the butterflies? is it in you dick, where lust resides?

down

down the pipeline. through twisting elbows and across T-splices. i slide and fall down the drain.

sand

grain by grain speck by speck my brain slips away like tiny specks in a sieve of pain

iron

i am iron. from fist to toe. i strike when i'm hot and destroy my foe.

iron

iron fisted and teeth clenched i walked away from you and me and everything i thought could be. i squeezed out all i could between my fingers and let the pain drip all over my shoes. and while the spots were very artistic...

it hurt.

honey

i hate unisexual nicknames that have no personal meaning behind them. however that doesn't mean i don't use them. especially as of late. the word "baby" has never really pulled that much weight with me before...

but he's my baby. ugh. i even make myself sick.

deaf

close my ears so that I cannot hear the tangible fears that you whisper in my ear. whispers for the deaf.

cover

cover my broken dreams with a lead drop cloth, like those kinds the dentists use when they x-ray my teeth. lead cloth. heavy. protect my broken dreams.

cover.

CYA, kids.

Is it bad, that I cringe whenever a particular piece of software is mentioned within my hearing at work?