oneword: discreet

i have never been very good at being subtle. never. sneaky maybe, but not so much on being subtle.

i am even worse at picking up on subtleties. if someone is attempting to send out subtle signals...or even obvious ones...i miss them. not because i just don't want to see them, or because i am not paying attention. its more of a self doubt issue. i don't trust myself.

i'd love to correct that one day, but where would one begin to repair that sort of damage?

Oneword: Circuit

I'm fascinated that my mind hasn't exploded from the amount of information that's thrown at me each day. It's like playing a never ending game of catch. I'm sweating. And quickly, and quite inadvertently I'm now thinking of what medication I'd prescribe myself if this were indeed a problem. They've conditioned me quite well. They've created a circuit within my brain. One thing leads to another. You must narrow everything down, but not completely. You must keep this and that in mind. The circuit is still foreign to me, but I'm at the stage where my eyes are wide open and I can almost salivate upon command.

I can't wait
till I'm in complete control.

oneword: blinds

not really vertical. not really horizontal. this is not quite so cut and dry. more than friends, but a little less than lovers.

i am peeking through the cracks of the blinds to see what's really there, but i'm too afraid to wrench them apart and open myself to the possibility.

Oneword: Blinds

I stumbled upon your scattered site to browse. I stumbled along to read, but today I had the intention to write. I was going to mold the word, that oneword of the day into something that I wanted to write about. I was going to shape that piece of hard, store-bought clay into something that was soft, warm, and malleable. Today's word though, blinds... reminds me of a past beautiful morning. I refuse to not write about you. The blinds created a shadow upon our bodies as the sun shone through. The warm sun. The happy smiles ...the smiles. It feels like yesterday. Yet it was two years ago. A memory that won't leave. Funny how those work. I'll never forget that beautiful morning where we made the shadows beautiful and you made them into art.

oneword: lantern

light the way down these dark, haunted cooridors. hand me my freedom in light. show me the way the way to be brave, and soothe all of my fears. pave for me the way to let go. hold me so tightly engulfed by your heat. shine me to salvation, and poof. you'll be gone.

oneword: transmit

this frequency that i am on is a direct result of what is being emitted from every pore on my body. i feel a bit like i am drowning in every aspect of my life right now. i am just barely treading water in all directions to stay afloat.

i need to change my frequency and put something a little more positive out into the world. but at this moment i have not a clue as to how.

oneword: transmit

ET-phone-home me into a new universe.

Please?

Transmit

This makes me think of STIs and I'm not proud of that fact.

Maybe my mind will transmit some non-sexual thoughts into the atmosphere sometime in the near future.

Somehow I doubt that though. I will continue to daydream about carnal desires until my Amazon.com shipment arrives, wherein I will explore poetry and the meaning of life.

Naked.

See, and you thought I had a breakthrough already.

oneword: arrived

At first, I wanted to say that she is starting to emerge, but that would be continuing to put it off--making more excuses for NOT being, NOT doing ME. So I will say that she really has arrived: the voice hiding within me; the spunky, imaginative, irresistible little girl; the sometimes joyful, sometimes pissed-off, but always emotionally engaged woman; the long-awaited, never fully forgotten version of me.

And the strangest part about it all is that I'm actually not terrified....

texture

under my fingertips I feel your rough edges
as much as I try to smooth them out, you won't let me
"they're what makes me me" you say
all the while the texture of my heart is being roughed up by your sandpaper words
I hope it never smooths out

oneword: stem

From one silly thought comes a foolish dream. And from that dream comes an idealistic desire. And from that desire comes my will to get up and fumble my way through each day, biding my time until all of the silliness, foolery, and idealism becomes my reality.

And from that reality will come the most breathtaking flower I have. ever. seen.

oneword: pedal

pluck these pretty piece of me
off one by one; need by need.

wear me down slow, work me in quick.
don't let any body know about it.

disappointments turn into doubts
and i think that now i've figured it out:

swear yourself to secrecy
but the bottom line is that
you might just be

... embarrassed to be seen with me.

oneword: bee

the only thing i can thing of is, "fuck bees."

oneword: fold

you've called my bluff. i resign this hand. relish this moment, as I will not resign another.