oneword: cabin

Sometimes I want to go hide up in a cabin on a hill. All by its lonesome, glorious in its possibilities and quiet. Sometimes I want to shut it all out, so I can look around within. But do I have the balls to truly look at what I find?

oneword: whirl

You blink once, twice, and a whole life passes by. This thing called time is elusive. It evades logic and planning. It exists in a space all its own, waiting for the rest of us to catch up, to figure out our sorry little existences. Time flies by while our worries whirl us into the status quo.

oneword: rumour

The whispers flutter about, wrapping themselves around me. They swirl and swivel, flip and flop, from air current to air current. Surrounding, circling the trunk of my core. My roots claw into the earth, trying desperately to ground me in some semblance of reality. My branches reach out, grasping at air, at truth. But the whispers, the questions, the hurts, the challenges push me and pull me at their will.

oneword: scout

One of my favorite characters of all time. A young girl, challenging all cultural norms--about being female, about being white, about living in the south, about life. She inspires me and reminds me a little of my younger self.

...of my true self.

That spunky, loud, rough-and-tumble girl. That girl who questions and feels deeply, for everyone and thing. The one whose imagination takes over and gets her adrenaline pumping, allowing make-believe to meet reality. The one who gets stuck in a ridiculous, giant ham. The one who trips, falls, and stumbles around until a faceless, nameless someone helps her up and out of danger. The one who embraces the phantom as family, whole-heartedly and without question.

Scout. I love her.

oneword: satellite

It would be nice to get clear signals on a regular basis. I mean, the interference, the delays, the calm before the storm is getting a bit overbearing. Clarity. That's what I'm after.

At least I see it now.

oneword: satellite

He always seems to be there, hovering on the outskirts, beaming in a message or two whenever he senses that my life has gone a little bit awry.

The problem? He is fleeting. I see him shine across the horizon for barely an instant, until he zooms off again until the next time.

And the next. and the next.

If his light wasn't so brilliant, if his smile wasn't so gleaming, I wouldn't care so much. The fact is, I am more comforted by his momentary visits than the thought of him not being there at all.

oneword: towel

suck me in, absorb me, quick. like a warm towel after a cold shower or a flame attaching to a burnt out wick.

ick. the problem there was that i really wanted to rhyme quick with dick, but feel as though i should stop focusing on male woo woo areas right now.

sigh.

oneword: saving

Every paycheck, I have been dutifully putting money away. I watch the sum grow, month by month. Waiting there for some future waiting in the wings. I wonder what it will be used for. Will it go toward a perpetuated inertia, a future, a plan that seems logical and safe? Or will I find a way to start dutifully saving small increments of my well-being, too?

Because without a safe sum of me put away somewhere, I'm not sure the money will be worth a damn thing.

oneword: meter

thump thump bump rump. slow it down, please. keep that hip hop heart beat in rhythm with the tick tock (you don't stop). but! the meter made me do it!

ok. that's a lie. it wasn't the meter. it was the way he looked at me.

my brain may have told romeo to fuck off, but my peach fish has a slight difference in opinion...

late oneword: offer

we hold these truths. to an upper 45 degree angle. presenting our offerings to the gods of letter keys and the goddesses of fountain pens. our heads bow down - not out of respect or even fear. but merely because we like to look at the doodles and paint blobs we've accumulated on the tops of our chucks.

oneword: offer

make me an offer I can't refuse. thats all i can think about, and all i seem to want to think about these days. i want desperately to be happy with what i have right now. actually, at the end of the day, i just want to be happy. i am acutely aware that there is something keeping me from that, but i can't quite put my finger on it, or i just won't let myself see it.

oneword: pose

freeze.

the dented dreams and desires of someone who usually only sees in photo-negative.

but, the good that is developing.

frame.

another word: race

last night may have been the starting line, but this morning marked the first sharp turn. convincing myself to get. the fuck. up.

we are racing time. knowing that we won't be able to do everything we want to.

the need to prioritize stops me dead. and it's funny... because that's the very thing i am afraid of.

letter by letter, word by word, tick by tock... i will not go down without a write.

oneword: balcony

She stands there under the oppressive cloak of night, high above the earth, the roots, the origin of growth. The moon, the inconstant moon, which used to be her beacon for beauty, truth, and love, high-tailed it out of there, out of her life. So fast, in fact, that she can't tell where it once was, shining brilliantly over her, illuminating the land, the journey stretched out before her. It used to show her the way, its mystical magic bringing her comfort and peace. But now it's gone. Gone. And all she has left is the memory of its power over her as she leans over the edge and waits.

oneword: balcony

oh, romeo... go fuck yourself.

i've got better things to do than stand up here drowning in an a love and life never realized with someone like you.

no more waiting up here - i'd rather jump off of this thing and soar with flight driven by my own imaginary, albeit, broken wings.

too long i've spent my life dreaming and writing of a tragical, magical love like the one you speak of. too long i've wasted my energy on men who i wished would be your doppelganger.

i don't want to wear these tired eyes, or speak these tired lines anymore... i want a new love story. one that doesn't end in death or pain or never again.

oneword: charge

this full speed ahead mentality has kept me from seeing all that's really looming on the horizon. my college graduation. finding my own place to live. working full time. saying goodbye to my best friends and making new ones. what could be big in one frustrating, confusing person.

it's all i can do to charge forward, to avoid stopping and thinking about all of the dizzying change that could either be really awesome or really horrible.